In my bid to do my bit for the ANON war against Scientology, here’s a run-down of the most absurd bits of Scientology lore. It’s batshit insane, and unlike what the liberals are saying, should be banned outright on the grounds that it is not a religion just because some gullible people believe in it’s doctrines.
A lot of people respond with “Oh but Christians believe insane stuff too, so what about them.” Well they’re JUST as insane, let’s fight each battle separately. I am just as vocal about Intelligent Design, so shut your stupid face, world.
Anyway.
Crazy Scientology Facts
It’s founder, L Ron Hubbard, was a science fiction writer before inventing Scientology.
The Church believe that an intergalactic overlord called Xenu, who presided over 78 planets, over 78 million years ago, and brought the overpopulated masses from the other planets to”The Prison Planet” Earth (called TeeGeeAk) where he bombed them with Hydrogen bombs.
To avoid controversy in the late 60’s, Hubbard took to the seas in a fleet of ships he commanded, named the fleet “Sea Org“, took a load of crazy recreational drugs, tortured his crew and had semiclad girls wait on him hand a foot.
If you sign up to be a member of Sea Org, your contract is for a billion years. Yes it is. It’s here.
David Miscavige, leader of the Church of Scientology, used to beat his aides.
L Ron Hubbard once begged the Veterans Administration for psychiatric help.
Scientologists refer to non-Scientologists as “wogs”. The term is copyrighted. It is unsurprising to learn that Hubbard was a racist too.
The Church of Scientology is not a church, it’s a corporation.
Hubbard was a serial masturbator, noting in his diaries:
I have a very bad masturbatory history. I was taught when I was 11 and, despite guilt, fear of insanity, etc. etc. I persisted.
The Chuirch of Scientology forged bomb threats from one of its ex members to frame her for conviction.
A randomised study of the Stress Test the Church offers had 3 individuals submit diametrically opposed answers – details here. The results all reflected negative results, requiring treatment. Which means the test is weighted towards negativity.
31 comments
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January 31, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Fredric L. Rice
Yes, Paulette Cooper was the target of the Scientology corporation’s “Operation Freakout” and yet in the aftermath of that RICO predicate suit of felonies, none of the Scientology crime bosses went to prison because Ms. Cooper couldn’t press criminal charges at the time.
July 19, 2009 at 9:30 pm
Mike Hunter
fucking crazy Hubbard and all Scientologists can soak their arm in gasoline light it on fire and first fuck a goat.
July 6, 2012 at 7:36 pm
Scientology Sucks
Why hurt the goat? WTF? lol They can stick their flaming arm up their own asses!
July 6, 2012 at 7:56 pm
hypernation
Well said!
August 7, 2009 at 4:57 am
Anonymous (Just had to)
Actually, the goat fist-fucking isn’t required anymore because they wanted people who couldn’t to join too.
August 7, 2009 at 6:36 am
hypernation
LOL to both of you!
April 15, 2012 at 7:31 am
Christy
Scientology is the most rediculous thing I have ever heard in my whole life!!! Christians believe in that crazy religion because it was created back in a time when people didn’t have technology and they had to have some higher power to believe in. But Scientology is just absolutely an insane thing to believe in. It reminds me of the Mormon religion. Both scientology and Mormon leaders were full of shit. There is so much evidence of both Joseph Smith and L Ron Hubbard never following what they were teaching and yet all of these followers, follow their teachings like idiots. Why are people so damn stupid. There isn’t enough history about Jesus to disprove him but their are countless amounts of evidence against Smith and Hubbard to prove that all their teachings are just a bunch of bullshit.
June 18, 2012 at 7:22 pm
shelby-lea bailes
This info is really good now i am going to get a really good mark in re that is so cool i love re
June 30, 2012 at 5:35 am
The truth
Anybody that waste his time & money on scientology is just plan stupid. The only reason they hide behind the name church is TAX BREAKS…
July 2, 2012 at 9:11 pm
Dafney
This just makes me laugh. What a joke.
July 5, 2012 at 2:59 am
Metal Goddess
Amazing what kind of stupid shit people will buy into.
July 9, 2012 at 7:53 pm
Jerry
Whether Scientology comes from the planet Uranus or Hubbard’s anus, it smells just as bad either way.
July 9, 2012 at 9:38 pm
Thomas
Sheep are sheep and most are angry at Scientology because they believe the exploitation of the weak-minded should remain the exclusive purview of the Abrahamic religions – competition is after all bad for business.
September 20, 2012 at 2:37 am
Kelly Stone
I am Xenu! Kneel before me and worship me!
January 7, 2013 at 9:29 am
lilasiris
^^^ Thomas is a Scientologist.
January 7, 2013 at 9:48 am
hypernation
Agreed. After all, his comment quietly approves of taking advantage of people. If anything, he wants it to be submitted to the free market. Seems a little weak as a defence.
January 14, 2013 at 11:33 pm
Andrew
Religion is also insane at times Thomas, but not nearly as insane as Scientology. Don’t even defend it man. Exploitation of the weak mind is wrong in any situation, and Scientology is the king of exploitation.If you think there’s some space wizard lord out there who bombed us and made us watch T.V, good for you. Anyone who believes in that crap is as big a sheep as any.
March 6, 2013 at 7:36 am
mark
don’t forget his complaining about how little writing sci-fi paid and then bragging he could rich much faster by starting a religion.
July 3, 2013 at 3:56 am
Nancy Willmott
Actually, I love your comment, Thomas, you manage to slam both the goofy “scientologists” (Why is the word “science” abused by both Christian Scientists and the subject of these posts?) and the sky god believers at the same time!
September 10, 2013 at 5:46 am
$cientologie Mann
$ush hate-full koments…
When it gives YOU the tools, to find the clues then you use the “tools” to get through life! Somewhere in between, you cross the bridge to total freedom by $pending Millions of your MONEY! L. Ron Howard directed sum movies…don’t B grudge hum… Opie wasn’t a pot head. But Snoop Lion-Dogg wazz…
Eye object to the notion!
September 16, 2013 at 11:49 pm
Clinton
Wow Scientology huh I totally believe it. From Xenu to a bunch of aliens souls forced to watch a 3D film. Not!!!!!! This is fuc**ng absolutely the most ridiculous religion I’ve ever read about. Now I despise people who believe in this load of Hubbard sh*t possibly even more than the annoying ass Mormons who come to my house asking if I need help in my beliefs. I’m a Native American who believes in science and evolution. I don’t believe in God, hell I don’t even believe most Native ways and beliefs, but I try to keep an open mind and I keep in mind anything can be possible (that which we don’t know), but Scientology, hell no, I haven’t seen such a load of sh*t being feed to people in my life and probably won’t, even if I were to witness a sh*t eating compition where each contestant were to over a gallon each. Now these people are on my top piece-o-sh*t list right above the Nazi and Muslims. Not because they believe such radical beliefs but because they wasted money making a douche bag like Hubbard a damn near billionaire fuc**ng bullsh*t. Huh maybe I should create a scam religion where everyone is a sh*t god took and banished to a body of meat to develope a personality and live a meaning less life destroying a beautiful planet called Earth for no reason but to worship him because he created us and to join this religion it cost $240. Now that’s just as believable as Scientology if you ask me. If I ever meet a scientologist I will gladly cunt punch them for all of us sane people. Your welcome Internet.
September 17, 2013 at 7:05 am
hypernation
This is officially my favourite comment ever made about anything.
April 28, 2014 at 7:43 pm
Human
i agree most of this is indeed insane, but i feel the masturbation thing was really unneeded.
April 28, 2014 at 7:59 pm
hypernation
Perhaps you think it’s invented? Read his diaries.
July 11, 2014 at 4:37 am
Jarod
The central tenets of the Mormon church are anchored in Bible (old and new testament) teaching. The Book of Mormon and other Joseph Smith writings are secondary. I actually went to an LDS (Mormon) church for a while. Wasnt really much different than other Christ based faiths/churches.
March 20, 2015 at 6:15 pm
splittinimage
I see no problem with any religion (cult). What needs to be changed are the rules they play by. They should pay any and all taxes like everyone else. They should follow laws also like everyone else. Look if you want to worship an orange and a giant ant knock yourself out but play by the rules like the rest of us. That is the problem…period. So if a law is made that allows us to object on the belief that it goes against religious beliefs…….and if i am a nongunatarian that will mean you may not force guns on me. Wow you think the nra will allow that…..its against my religion….keep those guns away from me. While all religions (cults) get away with almost everything……try being a nongunatarian and see far you get.
September 28, 2014 at 1:56 pm
Allan usherwood
There are some weird arsoles in this world, we have Christians that believe some guy named Jesus rose from the dead, we have Mormons that believe in marriage as a free for all adultery trip there are Islam’s that believe there is a clone of this Jesus guy that calls himself Mohamed and a god called Allah that wants his followers to kill all the infidels (that’s Us) who don’t believe in his existence then we have great extravaganza Scientology who are worshipped by cranks like Tom Cruise and other similar morons. At least they are harmless and they don ‘t go around molesting little children and lying their way out of jail. Some religious cranks will not eat pork because it is unclean. have you seen the crap that collects on a cows feet, they are just as unclean. I am a practising atheist and only good thing about Islam’s is their answer to the faggot community. Bigallan from WA.
November 18, 2015 at 3:27 am
bill
Biggest bunch of fucked up freaks on the planet
March 26, 2016 at 9:11 pm
Richard Paul
Vistaril is not a psych drug it’s a antihistamine that sometimes is used to treat anxiety by making you sleepy. Other uses is to treat nausea, vomiting, allergies, skin rash, hives, and itching. It can also be used with anesthesia before medical procedures again by making you sleepy. Very similar to Benadryl. But not used to treat psychosis as the article claims. But I do think that Hubbard was very disturbed and needed to be on meds however Vistiral is not one of those medications. At most will treat mild anxiety.
January 2, 2017 at 10:14 pm
Mike
Its just so sad
The weakminded are always the ones exploited. Religion will go by the waste side sometime in the far future, and that is when mankind will begin to make great strides as a species.
February 14, 2017 at 5:33 am
Kevin Cunningham
Anyone making these comments ever learned and correctly applied anything in Scientology??!!!Sure the church management is at least somewhat corrupt-there’s way too much importance placed on money-Hubbard wrote some crazy stuff-but a lot of Scientology is also brilliant extremely valuable and workable-we’re now kinda like gold miners- we have to separate the gold from the dirt.
This is why Scientology still survives in spite of everything-the best part is too wonderful to ever die.