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10. The Cheat to Win Bracelet

Make your hippie friend look twice. Then lamp him in the face and flick the bracelet into his eye. A real friend-winner.

9. The Professional Whisk set

With 28 tennis-elbow inducing whisks, this is the one to give to your wife or girlfriend. Or even BOTH!

8. “I wish I Were Dead” Mug

Make your coworkers shifty and nervous that you may likely snap and shoot them all – hurray for open plan!

7. Ho Ho Ho – I saw You Masturbating Xmas Cards

THE best xmas card to send late – it’s like Santa was biding his time, watching you all thw hile. PAEDO!

6. Jesus is My Health Insurance T-Shirt

There are so many Tees out there these days – why not wear ALL of them AT ONCE? Leave this one on the outside though. otherwise you’d look weird.

5. The Visorganiser

Hate being popular? Want to look like a complete dolt? This turns your hat into another pocket! Walk around with everything all the time FOREVER!

4. A self-referential tote bag

Good job there’s a French stick in that photo, so the model could conceal his raging hard-on at the prospect of having this AMAZING product. GET FIVE. THEN GET MORE ARMS TO HOLD THEM ALL!

3. No Trans-Fatties bumper Sticker


Watch out if you’re a chubber AND behind THIS car. You just got served, girl(or boy-)friend! And not in the way that your nine meals a day go. HA! FAT!

2. Peaceful Progression Smoke Alarm

Alarms are really harsh these days. I mean what ifn you’re asleep? It might wake you up or something. Screw that. I’d rather burn to death to the sound of a forest of tranquility. Get a soothing alarm today!

1. All of the above!

Doesn’t get any better than having all of them. Walk round like a satire-prone blinged out Irony Pimp with all this posh tosh hanging off you like it’s Xmas.

I love comedy. Hahahahahahha – see? So here, to honour the best internet sites that get me trousering myself raucously and laughing harder than when I get searched at airports, I’ve compiled the ten best ones.

10. Modern Humorist

I found this site back in 1999 when the internet was one dimentional. As such it was my first favorite (apart from hotmail.com with it’s 10 Megabyte limit.) Just some of the nostalgia tearjerkers include the Cliche Trailer, the excellent ‘Racist At the Movies’ literally made me cackle with irony, and just wait til you see Monkey Hot-or-Not. Modern Humorist, I’ll miss you.

9. TV Go Home

Also Defunct, it still outstrips any other parody site because it’s just SO AWESOME. Written by Charlie Brooker, it lampoons TV guides. Hours of fun to be had. In recent years Brooker has gone on to write Nathan Barley, and the wonderful ScreenWipe on BBC Four.

8. Cracked.com

After semi-retirement, Cracked made a relaucnhed appearance (much like OJ Simpson) and was great from the word go. Especially good are the “Top Ten” roundups-which invariably feature expertly collated Yourube vids. Oh and Maddox from Thebestpageintheuniverse.com writes for them too (despite the apparent retraction of the fantastic ‘Requiem for Britney’s Vagina.’)

7. TheBestPageInTheUniverse

Angry, rude, and a wind-up merchant all round, Maddox writes like he’s just found out that you left him out of your will, and you have really kickass stuff. Great drawings, ultimately a leftie of the Hunter Thompson ilk, but rarely updated, this kid is a whole lot of fun. Good merchandise site, and Youtube vids now also exist.

6. The Onion.

Yes, yes – sometimes they go on a bit too much for each story. Sometimes it seems like you’ve heard it all before. But sit on the toilet with one of their annual publications and you’ll shit yourself for hours. Particularly good are the recurring Vox Pop articles.

5. Newsbiscuit

Semi-editorial, semi-written by some bloke down the pub, Newsbiscuit is a niche UK indie electronic rag filled with Spoof News that would impress even Chris Morris or Armando Iannucci. Always original and crazy. FUN!

4. Titanic Magazine Online

Niche Market – speak German? Well then, forget it. Titanic is a german speaking magazine. In November they mocked the Maddie McCann media circus by writing an article that showed off new Maddie related Products – see here for more. Angry, undermining, the last thing it seems is German.

3. Whitehouse.org (well, and whitehouse.gov really)

The guys at Chickenhead.com are great at satirising right-wing America. Whitehouse.org is one of the may websites they run, and they are consistently hilarious. For more also check out Chickenhead.com

2. Landoverbaptist.org

Again, one from the ‘Old Web’ – Landover (and Betty Bowers, a partner site) furiously send up the religiousright. They do it so damn well that when I saw some program on Westboro Baptist Church with Fred Phelps and his clan ofhate yelling ‘fag’ at anything that moved, I thought it was ll a stunt by Pastor Fred. It’s all here, including Video and Audio. In the form of the GodCast.

1. The Chaser Online

The World at large was raucously made aware of Australia’s Chaser team in 2007 during Sydney’s APEC conference when they breached top level red-zone security in the lockled down city centre by getting past 3 sets of guards by pretending to be the Canadian Delegation. Whilst filming themselves on handheld cameras. And wearing badges that said ‘Insecurity’ instead of ‘security’. And whilst dressed as Osama bin Laden. No shit. Features great articles and video clips.

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