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Great video, very funny . “Protecting the nation’s borders? I have 2 words. Chuck Norris.”

Shame both are crazy Christians. Oh and that Norris is actually suing someone for publishing the Chuck Norris Facts. Nice work being original for once though. Completely avoided speaking about any real issues. Good.


Thanks to Norris suing the Chuck Norris Facts Book recently published, an organic search for Chuck Norris now brings up the hilarious site of the Chuck Norris Facts before it brings up the actual man.

Chuck Norris

Hurrah! Fiction wins out over real life to claim the ‘truth crown.’

Unfortunately, whilst a search for Santorum still yields the definition of “The frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex” above homophobic cock Senator Rick Santorum, “Rick Santorum” however still brings up Rick Santorum, rather than the sex-lather “Santorum”.

Famously a few years ago, ‘misearble failure’ yielded the result “Biography of George W Bush, thanks to the deliberate information reference work of “Googlebombing”.

That is all.
Except we should now consider doing the same thing for Bruce Campbell, since the man is busy making fictional films whilst playing the real Bruce Campbell in them…what a legend.

As with any job that surrounds its employees with specific, recurring odd situations, slanguage develops. If you spend many years as a media tit, no doubt you end up spewing TLAs (Three-Letter-Acronyms, a nice self-referential phrase) because your predicament is unique, isolated and predictable. hence you have pre-fabbed phrases that refer to your daily grind.

It’s even better, however, when such slang occurs within places that hold a certain reverence normally; say a hospital, where people in need and trauma are dealt with on a day to day basis. The Daily Telegraph in the UK has found that some UK hospitals have secret slang for colleagues or even for patient types (ie, ones with hilariously unbelievable reasons for getting that jam jar stuck in their anus, such as – ‘Well, I sat down really hard on this chair, see, and I completely forgot that there was a massive jam jar there, and it went right up my trouser sock’ etc etc). There’s even a dictionary – compiled by a consultant in palliative medicine, Paul Keeley, of Glasgow Royal Informary.

Here are some of the best ones:

‘Hasselhoff’, – a patient who gives doctors in accident and emergency a bizarre explanation for their injury, coined after former Baywatch actor David Hasselhoff said last year that he had hit his head on a chandelier while shaving.

Disco biscuit is an ecstasy tablet (actually common drug slang anyway)

Father Jack – a Father Ted reference, is a confused and elderly patient who constantly shouts and tries to get out of bed.

Blamestorming – a session of mutual recrimination in which a team tries to find someone to blame for an error.

MacTilt – describes how a Macmillan nurse tilts his or her head to convey sympathy

Jack Bauer – describes a doctor who is still up and working after 24 hours – after the lead character from the TV series 24.

via Ananova


I love Engrish as much as the next web geek. From the all-pervasive ‘All your Base Are belong to us‘ to Mario’s ‘Shine Get!’, Engrish is a joy. Even the odd stir-fried Wikipedia goes down beautifully. Here’s a blog with the ten worst (ie: best) Game Engrish of translation (sic).

For those who aren’t yet familiar with Engrish, it’s the cute mistranslations (mostly from Japanese computer games) that most often occur due to computerised mistranslations, or dictionaries written or used by people somewhat less than proficient in two, or even one, language.

At this time of year I’d like to offer a collection of the best Engrish Christmas cards I’ve found on the net. Happy Holidays.

1. Do! Holiday Times!


3. Santa the Sexual Predator

4. Just Plain Rude

Here are some more great ones (pics are a bit hard to read but helpfully the Engrish is transcribed.)

Honourable mention – brilliant dolphin birthday card in Engrish (click the link to see the inside of the card) Simpy Reddit Slashdot Digg Facebook Technorati Google StumbleUpon Windows Live Furl Netscape Yahoo BlinkList Bloglines Ask Mister Wong Newsvine Backflip Spurl Rawsugar Squidoo Fark

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