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I never liked comics a massive amount.

I read that Mr Mxyzptlk Superman comic in the 1990s with the weird Justice League add-on at the end. I quite liked Unbreakable. Batman mopvies are great, but I never found the comics.

But now I have been bitten by Watchmen. First I saw the extraordinary trailer, wondered what it was and put it to one side in my head.

Then Aint It Cool News scooped a few stories in typical yelling three exclamation marks fashion. I put this down to typical comic book geekdom hype.

Then I saw Time Mag had Watchmen on its top 100 English Language Novels of all time list. And I started to take notice.

A few Wikipedia Pages later, I hit the One Click button on Amazon and waited for my copy to hit the post box. When it did I polished the whole thing off in 3 and a half days.

This isn’t a comic, or even a graphic novel. This is something much more amazing. And I am only twentysomething years off the mark. Complete with extracts from elaborately made up psychiatric reports, chapters from memoirs of protagonists, newspaper clippings and other metafictional esoterica, all nestled between chapters, Watchmen is more of a Universe than the ‘DC Universe’, it seems.

Now iTunes is releasing masterfully animated versions of the 12 chapters of Watchmen, thanks to Warner Bros. Artfully, each frame of the novel has been given life, but so as to make it still appear like the original comic book frame. Don’t ask me how they did it, because it is quite beyond me.

Here’s a clip of what I’m talking about.

Bring on the movie. This story deserves to be told again and again.

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Mitch Hedberg’s first posthumously released album is being released on September 9th 2008. It’s called Do You Believe in Gosh? and will feature all new material.

For those who aren’t familiar with Hedberg: if Jean Genet and Monty Python were to invent a Frankenstein One-Liner Comedian, the result would be Mitch Hedberg.

He stands out as one of the few comedians whose work is not smutty, offensive, political or “edgy”, and whose subject matter is, as he once put it in an interview “about like Bananas and shit”, but who simultaneously is face-disruptingly hilarious.

Unfortunately he is also dead.

It is perhaps the singular irony of my history of appreciating Mitch Hedberg’s comedy that I only discovered his existence through the announcement on another comic’s site that he had passed away.

Curious about this special mention (and the many others that followed on other comics’ sites soon after the soul-destroying news set in) I went to Limewire and downloaded two large files that turned out to be Mitch’s only two commercial albums. Immediately it dawned on me what me and most of the world outside American college comedy tours had missed in this remarkable comedian. And suddenly I was sad this so recently unknown person had died.

Since his death in March 2005 the power of the internet (particularly in the form of has furnished me with more underground recordings and video clips than should rightly be available for such an underrated and unknown comedian.

And since his two albums were all he had commercially available, it meant rifling through poor quality bootlegs actually yielded unknown jokes and routines. It also let you hear just how many of the audience had committed to memory his incredible one-liners as they yell them out in a comedic frenzy.

And when you hear the jokes, it becomes obvious why he had this effect.

– I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

– I got an ant farm…them fellas didn’t grow shit.

– I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.

– I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.

– I wrote a script and gave it to a guy that reads scripts. And he read it and said he really likes it, but he thinks I need to rewrite it. I said, “Fuck that, I’ll just make a copy.”

– I did a movie with Peter Frampton. He’s a musical genius, but I don’t listen to his stuff. So I had to continuously try to draw attention away from the fact. Hey Frampton! Do you like toast too!? As do I. It is warm and crispy and the perfect place for jelly to lay. Now stay away from me Frampton, I ain’t got shit to say to you!

In fact his appearance in the movie he mentions above was Almost Famous. Depressingly, he doesn’t utter a word. That movie would have torn my face off with awesomeness had they given him a role.

As with all good comedians, Bill Hicks, George Carlin (so recently deceased at the time of writing) it always seems too soon when they did (even for Carlin, who was a less than sprightly 71.)

With Mitch it is worse, because the nature of his material meant it was so short. To make matters worse, (or better?) Hedberg penned and directed an all-comedian star movie called “Los Enchiladas” featuring the wonderfully acerbic Dave Attell and the other top one-line machine Todd Barry (whom I accidentally saw live in new York in 2004 before I knew what I was witnessing.)

What’s so heartbreaking is that it is commercially unreleased, with only a few teaser clips online. We can only hope, pray and quietly will it that the world will hopefully latch onto this guy, and that we will all become 13% more happy.

After his death the following show aired on the E! Channel in 2006.

And thanks again to the persistence of Mitch’s fans and the internet, the new cd has finally been greenlighted and features unreleased live material from January 2005, a few months before this wonderful soul’s demise. The release will be from Comedy Central Records. And it will rock.

Til then, you’ll find me listening to the bootlegs, and reminiscing about times I don’t even remember.

Do yourself a favour and buy these albums.

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Our favourite obese chap is back in the news. Manuel “Refer to me in the plural” Uribe, fat Mexican, is getting married (presumably to a lady who doesn’t mind the use of a wheelbarrow on dates.)

Uribe garnered “fame” as the world’s fattest “man”. I wonder if he did it for the Guinness title? Oh come on. He did it for the cheese covered chocolate bars…

Uribe’s desire is to be able to stand on his wedding day, which is the polar opposite of everybody else’s desire, but whatever, we are talking about a man who has spent most of his life just lying there like a fatty bean-bag, so getting up is probably the equivalent of going to a Theme Park for 9 Years straight. Good for him. It will be.

No wedding cake for you. Or a first dance for that matter. Or getting into or out of anywhere that only has doors and not some kind of vast industrial loading dock.

But seriously, all the best.

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Rage Against the Machine
Stream of Justice (Late 2008, Epic)

There isn’t an indie-politically-motivated-rap-metal-crossover fan that didn’t immediately cry bittersweet tears of happy when RATM released their latest offering in 2008. The song “Shit on you, I Won’t Comply” made major international headlines when it received accidental airplay during a military funeral in Carolina, instead of “Runaway Train” by Soul Asylum. Michael Moore directed the band’s single “My guitar is my Flag, I strum as a Salute” by videoing the band breaking into The UK House of Lords and generally jumping up and down on the seats before being sternly told off. ard, heavy, meaningful. 8/10

Alice in Chains
FaceDirt (Roadrunner, Nov 2008 )


AiC decided that a dead lead singer shouldn’t stop them, just as it didn’t stop Nirvana, The Beatles or Queen. The result is the searing, grunge manifesto of FaceDirt, which was released for the stocking-filler market at Christmas 2008. Ten tracks feature Jerry Cantrell, Mike Inez, the king of breakbeat rock drumming Sean Kinney and Comes with the Fall-Guy Wiliam DuVall, who does a superb job on lyrics. The album comes with a toy blade, a black dress doll you can stick pins in and other really really obscurely referenced toy spin-offs. 7/10

I hear Voices…Wait, no you Don’t. (Jan 2009)


Despite rumours of mental illness, hatred and black-on-black racism within the group, the Fugees came together in early 2009 to produce the seminal, nay fluid “I hear Voices…wait, no you don’t”. Wyclef Jean’s half-crooning, half rapping style was hampered by the fact that he chose to produce the album as he was singing it. The consequential button twisting noises, second takes sung right after first takes and not edited out, and constant suggestions about pitch tone and feeling spoken into the microphone as the other members sing severely hampers this album. 4/10

Guns ‘N’ Roses
Chinese Democracy (Spring 2009)

After only 16 tiny years wait, One 6th of Guns N Roses and a Third of all other bands got together finally to produce the symphonic, chronic, catatonic Chinese Democracy. Originally designed to coincide with the Beijing Olympics, the deadline was missed when Axl Rose, the sole remaining member of the GNR lineup, pulled the digital masters off the CD printing machine because “the horns aren’t quite fruity enough in Silkworms.” The completed 39 track album comes as a special edition with real 89 piece orchestra delivered to the home of each customer, who play along to each track in the listener’s lounge room. Price $8,000. Epic. 10/10

Dr Dre
Detox (Aftermath 2009)


Dre, of NWA and Chronic Fame, hasn’t realised that his music is only ever played ironically these days. In fact, poor Dre’s dress sense is the first to be “mimicked expensively” as poor youths from round the world holed themselves up the face in credit card debt to drench themselves in jewels and puffy jackets worht $4000 “because if was hilarious and Ironic.” Standout tracks are ” Still infirm but Still in the Game”, “Ridin’ in my Stanna” and “Rap so hard my dentures come out” but overall it sounds more like Weid Al taking the piss. 4/10

King Mathers (Shady Records, 2009)

Never one to disappoint or indeed shy from telling the world to suck it’s own penis, Eminem re-emerged with hist first studio album in 5 years. Raucousness, clever rhymes, real recorded executions of his enemies, and excellent guests make this the come-back album of the millenium. Tracks that shine include “F*ck You in the Knee”, “What Rhymes with Blunt, Shunt and Stunt, Your Face Does” and “Something Something Baby Mother”. 11/10

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Last night, right before I went to sleep, I had a movie flashback – three kids, some kind of bubble, space travel and weird aliens on some kind of circuit-board style ship.

Only ten years ago I would have been stumped and would have to wait to accidentally catch a rerun to ever find out what this movie actually was. However, thanks to the wonder of the community chest that is the internet, it took all of nine seconds and a perceptive Yahoo Answers entry to get me what I needed.

Here, as a tribute to those movies, and my lost youth, are those key nostaglia-tastic movies of the 80s that don’t make it into conversation anymore, except as part of a vague unanswerable question.

This one’s for me, for my brother and sister, and for all kindred spirits caught in that otherwise forgettable age of the 80’s, here are those classics that creep in the far corners of our minds like the madwoman in the attic. Torrent Files linked in the title. Spread the love.

1. Explorers

Yup, the bubble space travel movie I watched by accident when I was, dunno, seven? Turns out that enticing story of three boys who run a computer program that creates a sphere that can be programmed to travel, holding the boys inside it, was the young work of River Phoenix, Ethan Hawke and James Cromwell (supporting, not one of the boys, he was old even then…)

IMDB tells us, Ben Crandall, an alien-obsessed kid, dreams one night of a circuit
board. Drawing out the circuit, he and his friends Wolfgang and Darren
set it up, and discover they have been given the basis for a starship.
Setting off in the ThunderRoad, as they name their ship, they find the
aliens Ben hopes they would find… but are they what they seem?

Well obviously not. But I don’t remember the outcome. Bittorrent here I come (oh come on, it’s gotta be public domain now.)


2. Flight of Dragons

Read my lips: THIS MOVIE IS BETTER THAN YOUR FAMILY. A brilliant self-reflexive tale based on Peter Dickinson’s real life book “Flight of Dragons.” Dickinson, as well as his book, appears in the movie in both a ‘real life’ world and a parallel magic world, whose conflict with reality is the basis for the movie in the first place. Fredric Jameson would have loved this film, which stars James Earl Jones as a baddie that would kick Darth Vader’s cack black Helmet right into Chewbacca’s furry face. Watch it and be educated in what makes good storytelling.

I had a chance to thank Don McLean who wrote the title track recently. He looked puzzled that I didn’t mention American Pie of Starry Starry Night.

Whole movie:

3. Flight of the Navigator

So synonymous with Christmas in my family the movie causes synaethsesia, and the mention on its name alone makes me smell presents, oranges, outlandish dolls that are also nutcrackers and general merriment. From the freakish voice that guides our boy hero into a secret hangar that houses a spaceship, floating quietly, to those melting stairs that solidify perfectly in midair, to the computer that starts off as a dull automaton, then absorbs the boy’s socio-cultural influences and starts talking like Kermit the frog on ADHD drugs. Brilliant, thoughtful, and fun!


4. The Peanut Butter Solution

Cultural effect – minimal.
Total viewing audience – 3 including me.
Story-telling ability – 3 billion. And then some.

Ok, what other Canadian made for TV movie I saw serendipitously in a fringe Cinema in the 80’s (that still exists by the way!) features an evil artist whose paintings you can step into, a disused house whose mysterious contents scare the hair off a boy, tramps that tell the boy that peanuts and dead flies wiped all over the scalp will solve his problem, hair that grows visibly, hair harvesting for magic paintbrushes….OH MY GOD THIS MOVIE IS CRAZY. The production company has wonderfully stuck to its crazy guns all these years too. When I saw this flick at the age of 7, I was so scared I quit my Youth Group and had nightmares. Awesome.

Whole movie in lieu of dead torrent:

5. The Storyteller

Ok it’s not a movie but a series. Fine, BUT – Written by peacefully resting Anthony Minghella, created somewhere between England and the US, puppets by Jim Henson and narrated by John Hurt – how was this going to be anything but “The Awesome?” Only a few episodes exist (nine in all), and each inhabit a realm between puppetry, live action, Grimm Tales and modern storytelling, it was usually to be found in the gaps between Flight of the Navigator and Explorers on the Christmas Schedule. Poetic, subtle, rich, the kind of entertainment that makes kids into better people.

6. Weird Science

One of the first Buzzwords at my boarding school was Weird Science. “Have you seen it?” Damn right I saw it. I saw the shit out of it. And again we stumble upon famous people in movies, a la Explorers. This time it’s Anthony Michael Hall (of the actually quite dull Pirates of Silicon Valley) and Kelly LeBrok playing the role of every 80’s boy’s girlfriend…

The TV series spin-off means that this entry is a little more mainstream than twisted peanut butter hair magic house crazy stories, but it’s a gem nonetheless.


7. Dark Crystal

Jim Henson reappears on the list (in a movie directed by the the brilliant Frank Oz, who somehow manages to be the director of this, Death at a Funeral AND the voice of Yoda) in a wonderful story that…well, I don’t really remember but it was GREAT.

over to IMDB:

Another planet, another time. 1000 years ago the mysterious Dark
Crystal was damaged by one of the Urskeks and an age of chaos has
began! The evil race of grotesque birdlike lizards the Skeksis, gnomish
dragons who rule their fantastic planet with an iron claw. Meanwhile
the orphan Jen, raised in solitude by a race of the peace-loving
wizards called the Mystics, embarks on a quest to find the missing
shard of the Dark Crystal which gives the Skesis their power and
restore the balance of the universe.

All I remember is being terrified of those puppets.


8. The Last Unicorn

Made by the Flight of Dragons Team of Arthur Rankin and Jules Bass (who made shedloads of awesome stuff including animated versions The Hobbit and Return of the King, though no-one seems to remember these), this is another GREAT example of 80’s creativity. I’ve included the German cover as it was infinitely more popular in Germany and the country deserves credit for that.


It is my hope that posts like these and so many others might lend a little extra life to these gems embedded in the long tail of internet culture. Keep them alive. They were made for love, not profit. Long may they live!

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There is no joke I could write that matches the hilariousness of this pervert’s life.

Haha autoeroticism.

Darwin would be proud (see highlight.)


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On the 7th May, former cyclist Olympian and some 100+ other cyclists were road rage crashed into by a car which sped up and deliberately hit the brakes.

The next day, the driver calls in with his story, to Sydney’s 2GB talkback radio.

What follows is a tense exchange between the driver and Olympian, who called in to accuse Jason the driver of being a lying dog.

Round one. FIGHT!


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Google are great at many things. And April Fool jokes are a particular forte of theirs. In recent years Google has released fictional drinks, Gmail Paper (a service that prints out and delivers your emails in hard copy), Google Romance, and a slew of other insanities. And as a rule they are very funny.

Today’s excellent submission is the “Future Search” – covered by, the site states:

Google Australia said the new beta search technology which drives the gDay search feature can accurately predict future internet content – and even future events.

The gDay technology – developed in the company’s Sydney engineering centre – uses machine learning and artificial intelligence techniques from a system called MATE, or Machine Automated Temporal Extrapolation.

LOL the future

Here’s Google’s official page on the matter. G’day Mate.

In my bid to do my bit for the ANON war against Scientology, here’s a run-down of the most absurd bits of Scientology lore. It’s batshit insane, and unlike what the liberals are saying, should be banned outright on the grounds that it is not a religion just because some gullible people believe in it’s doctrines.

A lot of people respond with “Oh but Christians believe insane stuff too, so what about them.” Well they’re JUST as insane, let’s fight each battle separately. I am just as vocal about Intelligent Design, so shut your stupid face, world.


Crazy Scientology Facts

It’s founder, L Ron Hubbard, was a science fiction writer before inventing Scientology.

The Church believe that an intergalactic overlord called Xenu, who presided over 78 planets, over 78 million years ago, and brought the overpopulated masses from the other planets to”The Prison Planet” Earth (called TeeGeeAk) where he bombed them with Hydrogen bombs.

Although Scientology is viciously opposed to the use of psych drugs, L Ron Hubbard was using Vistaril, a psych drug, when he died.

To avoid controversy in the late 60’s, Hubbard took to the seas in a fleet of ships he commanded, named the fleet “Sea Org“, took a load of crazy recreational drugs, tortured his crew and had semiclad girls wait on him hand a foot.

If you sign up to be a member of Sea Org, your contract is for a billion years. Yes it is. It’s here.

David Miscavige, leader of the Church of Scientology, used to beat his aides.

L Ron Hubbard once begged the Veterans Administration for psychiatric help.

Scientologists refer to non-Scientologists as “wogs”. The term is copyrighted. It is unsurprising to learn that Hubbard was a racist too.

The Church of Scientology is not a church, it’s a corporation.

Hubbard was a serial masturbator, noting in his diaries:
I have a very bad masturbatory history. I was taught when I was 11 and, despite guilt, fear of insanity, etc. etc. I persisted.

The Chuirch of Scientology forged bomb threats from one of its ex members to frame her for conviction.

A randomised study of the Stress Test the Church offers had 3 individuals submit diametrically opposed answers – details here. The results all reflected negative results, requiring treatment. Which means the test is weighted towards negativity.

$8b rogue trader ‘a genius of fraud’ |

Dear Mr Kerviel,

You are my ACTUAL hero. Well done. How did you do it?

So let’s cut to the chase (literally for you, I suppose.) Any bank that can lose billions and still ‘be okay’ should be robbed. All that money was insured anyway. No end users are affected – although the banks might introduce some fabulous new way of penalising people, if so, they deserve to be robbed again. As long as the guys on the street are unaffected, all you did was rob capitalism.

Steal shit, run and don’t look back. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel, and it’s me holding a torch, ready to high-five you and buy you a beer (which i THINK you should pick up the tab for.)

I know you probably have absolutely no chance of escaping and you’re screwed in all probability – but her this. You rock! Your actions amount to 2 Fingers extended in the air at authority on a massive scale. More please.

Best Regards

Everyone at The Hypernation

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