So I posted a handy tip on getting Flash to work in Google Chrome on a locked down computer a while back. As a test to see if the install had worked, I directed Users to a certain Rock Astley video. Here’s the total number of clicks in the intervening time:

youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0 1,137

Happy Christmas, Astley fans!

LOL Rickrolled

LOL Rickrolled

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It’s official – fundamentalist Christian Republican idiots who have never seen another country, don’t read any newspapers, instead quoting Starbucks cup-renderings of stupid things that DEMOCRATS have actually said, and don’t even own a passport apparently are not good enough to be in charge of the large complex machine of the US government and the international ambassadors. Apparently that’s below par these days.

Listening to Barack Obama’s acceptance speech was oddly strange – where is all the stuttering? Where are all the grammatical errors, vacant stares and little chuckles that reveal a lack of understanding. Where is that deer-in-the-headlights blinking? This doesn’t sound like the US President I’ve come to be used to and loathe…something’s wrong…wait a second! They put someone competent in charge!

Yes, against all odds, after 8 years of inept, blind flailing in place of actual leadership, Americans have elected a man who’s middle name is Hussein, and last name looks like “Osama”, whilst simultaneously kicking out that classic American trope, the rich white ignorant frat-boy who can’t name or even point out major countries on a map of the world, a world he believes would be around 6 thousand years old.

But two unfinished wars, an economy in crisis, the biggest national deficit (achieved in just 8 years) following Clinton’s biggest surplus, a lack of even cursory geographical knowledge, the first and only US mainland attack following what is either a false flag operation or at best deliberate mismanagement of freely-available national security intelligence, and the US Nation finally told the Republican monster machine: “FAIL.”

As Michael Moore said ‘ “8 years was long enough. 8 WEEKS was long enough.”

Youtube’s Ad system pops up an extraordinary advert next to Obama’s response to the uncovered assassination plans. Advert Fail…

 

 

As of 21st October a funding drive on justgiving.com has raised over 48K Pounds Sterling (Sorry, no pound sign on this $hitty keyboard) to run an ad campaign in January 2009 on London’s Bendy Buses with a simple, yet effective, message seen all too rarely:

Despite an article in August in the Daily Telegraph claiming athesist didn’t reach their goal, within a few hours of the Campaign opening, the heathen unbelievers had raised enough moolah to piss of Stephen Green and Christian Voice forever. LOL.

Amongst the noted contributors were TV’s Charlie Brooker, a certain “Steve G” (we presume NOT Stephen Green?), Mars Attacks (the movie? Cruel parents perhaps?) and one Russell’s Teapot, along wioth the comment “I watch you and all of your deeds from space.”

This last one was hailed by critics of Atheism as “a real result”, thus proving the existence of the small teapot in outer space, and therefore the refutation of the notion that the burden of proof of the non-existence of God lies with the person NOT believing it, rather than the person asserting it.

The invisible pink unicorn was not available for comment.

Michael Moore has seen the light and offered his latest bit of filmic joy for free. Unfortunately his destributer hasn’t and the video on his site is only available in North America and Canada.

And on this blog. Take THAT, establishment!

Logged onto a.viary today to find this screen –

A.viary is a developing suite of online apps built around Adbobe Flex. So far they have swatch and pallette generators, a pattern generator and a photoshop style image editor. The promised list inlcudes an audio editor, distributed limitless file system and video editor. 

Is the scheduled maintenance a hint at pending developments? Here’s to hoping. Come on audio, come on audio.

I never liked comics a massive amount.

I read that Mr Mxyzptlk Superman comic in the 1990s with the weird Justice League add-on at the end. I quite liked Unbreakable. Batman mopvies are great, but I never found the comics.

But now I have been bitten by Watchmen. First I saw the extraordinary trailer, wondered what it was and put it to one side in my head.

Then Aint It Cool News scooped a few stories in typical yelling three exclamation marks fashion. I put this down to typical comic book geekdom hype.

Then I saw Time Mag had Watchmen on its top 100 English Language Novels of all time list. And I started to take notice.

A few Wikipedia Pages later, I hit the One Click button on Amazon and waited for my copy to hit the post box. When it did I polished the whole thing off in 3 and a half days.

This isn’t a comic, or even a graphic novel. This is something much more amazing. And I am only twentysomething years off the mark. Complete with extracts from elaborately made up psychiatric reports, chapters from memoirs of protagonists, newspaper clippings and other metafictional esoterica, all nestled between chapters, Watchmen is more of a Universe than the ‘DC Universe’, it seems.

Now iTunes is releasing masterfully animated versions of the 12 chapters of Watchmen, thanks to Warner Bros. Artfully, each frame of the novel has been given life, but so as to make it still appear like the original comic book frame. Don’t ask me how they did it, because it is quite beyond me.

Here’s a clip of what I’m talking about.

Bring on the movie. This story deserves to be told again and again.

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The New Google Chrome browser.

The New Google Chrome browser.

Everyone hates the administrator. FACT. They block the best sites, and stop you from installing loads of ace stuff on your boring old work computer.

So when I installed the brand new Google Chrome on my work PC (for some reason I can, although loads of other executable files are disallowed) I, a humble internet user, went straight to Youtube to test out loading times etc.

However, Flash needs to be upgraded, and I get a nasty little message telling me I need the latest player.

When I download the file in the link, I get a similarly nasty warning from my PC that I am not allowed to install ‘executables’ like flash player. So no Youtube, no A.viary applications, or anything remotely flash related (seemingly 84% of all online content…)

Here’s how you get round that. Cue evil laugh.

1. Download this xpi file.

2. Then rename it to .zip. It’s a special archive file of only the plug-in bit of the flash player app from adobe that interacts with your browser.

3. Extract it with Winzip to a place you’ll remember. (I did it to My docs but it can go anywhere.)

4. Grab the flashplayer.xpt and NPSWF32.dll files. Copy them (Right click, copy)

5. Head to C/Documents and settings/”YOUR USER NAME”/Local Settings/Application Data/Google/Chrome/Application/Plugins/ and copy your files in there.

6. Close and restart Chrome

7. Go to Youtube and try it out.

8. I also put the files in this location to cover my bases but I think its unnecessary:

C/Documents and settings/”YOUR USER NAME”/Local Settings/Application Data/Google/Chrome/Application/”File with a load of numbers instead of a title”/Resources/

You’re welcome Internet. After all you’ve done for me.

PS: LOL you got rickrolled.


Jim Carlson: Not a master of Irony or socio-mathematical  abstractions

Landover Baptist is a humorist site dedicated to satirizing the garish, perpetually max-volume Americana that is modern Western Christian Fundamentalism in all its glory. See the blog roll for the link.

So when, in our “internetravels”, we stumbled across this site whilst on a search for the abomination that is Professor Giraffenstein (explanation here), we had to admire how a serious Christian site calling for Landover to be shut down could sound so VERY much like Landover itself.

Brilliantly, Jim Carlson the Christian even proclaims himself a ‘Game Theory’ subscriber on his website.

Game Theory, popularized by that guy from A Beautiful Mind and made use of extensively in the Cold War by some of the most right-wing people in America’s short history, asserts that humans are, in essence, only motivated by self-interest, and there is no such thing as altruism. For more, shut up and watch this:

Then again, you have to admit that ‘Do unto others as you would have done unto you’ is purely self-interest based. Certainly makes the whole Christianity thing sound a lot less lofty and a lot more…well…selfish.

Anyway, after a lot of lunging about misunderstanding big ideas, Jimmy-babes turns his attention to those ironic chaps at Landoverbaptist, accusing them not only of lampooning his beliefs (upon closer reading Landover is actually ridiculing organized religion’s own hypocrisy and hate mongering rather than dogma and doctrine) – but also of actually wanting to trick people into thinking they were a real Christian site. At the same time!

Here’s what can only be described as “the” tirade against this apparent double-attack on morality that is Landover Baptist Church. How many howler fallacies can YOU SPOT?

“The Internet was created by the United States of America – a Christian nation [ref. 1, 2, 3] – and should not be used to spread anti-Christian, secular, or non-Christian propaganda and hate speech. This is our Internet, and we should exercise our position as its owners and as the guardians of civilization to stop its misuse.

“It cannot be emphasized too strongly or too often that this great nation was founded, not by religionists but by Christians, not on religions, but on the gospel of Jesus Christ.”

– Patrick Henry, American Patriot
“Done in Convention by the Unanimous Consent of the States present the Seventeenth Day of September in the Year of our Lord [i.e. Jesus Christ] one thousand seven hundred and Eighty seven and of the Independence of the United States of America the Twelfth In Witness whereof We have hereunto subscribed our Names…”

– Article VII, US Constitution

For this reason, this website was created to try and stop one of the more vile and dangerous misuses of the Internet: using it to mock Our Lord Jesus Christ, His teachings, and His followers. And one site in particular stands out in need of stoppage: Landover Baptist.”

Rest Here:

So, tongue firmly in cheek, we sent Jim Carlson, apparent owner of the site, this:

=-=-=

Dear Jim,

I’d like to congratulate you on your hilarious and well-crafted parody of a tract against the site Landoverbaptist.org. You had me laughing so hard I almost wretched. You are a comedy genius!

Particularly enjoyed the irony of writing in the voice of a Christian fundamentalist (who would believe in the Garden of Eden, talking snakes, Cain having sex with his mother, a boat full of animals etc) thinking Landover was out to scam people into ‘believing’ their stories. A brilliant irony sir!

From the moment you started with ‘The Internet was created by the United States of America – a Christian nation’ I was on the floor laughing. This is exactly what an ignorant fundamentalist would say!

Of course you and I know that Tim Berners-Lee, an English scientist, created the world wide web (in the form of HTTP) whilst working with CERN in Switzerland (any idiot with access to the net itself would know this in a second, of course) – your brilliant parody allows for the blindness of those true believers who don’t check facts, but just assume something that fits with their agenda! AMAZING WORK!

Quoting Patrick Henry actually made me wet myself a little too – as everyone with an iota of historical awareness know, Henry confined his wife in the basement of his house for her remaining years before she died alone, making him a complete monster in the eyes of history. Putting him up on your ironic article made me cackle like a witch. You are too much sir!

Quoting Article VII of the Constitution was a great move too – not only because the meaning of ‘he Year of Our Lord’ has nothing to do with religion, more the way they used to actually say the year, but more so because of the fact it was signed by George Washington, who also said:

“Of all the animosities which have existed among mankind, those which are caused by difference of sentiments in religion appear to be the most inveterate and distressing, and ought most to be deprecated.” – [Letter to Edward Newenham, October 20, 1792] – I laughed til I stopped. Then I laughed some more.

Thanks for your article on Landover by the way, I have bookmarked it, subscribed to their newsletter and have promoted it on my site. I have also put your site on my blog as a brilliant and inspired example of modern satire on the web. My readers will hopefully have the god taste to shower you with praise as well, for you are very very funny.

All the best from admiring humour fans,

Everyone at The Hypernation

=-=-=-


Not an Ironic Graphic

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Mitch Hedberg’s first posthumously released album is being released on September 9th 2008. It’s called Do You Believe in Gosh? and will feature all new material.

For those who aren’t familiar with Hedberg: if Jean Genet and Monty Python were to invent a Frankenstein One-Liner Comedian, the result would be Mitch Hedberg.

He stands out as one of the few comedians whose work is not smutty, offensive, political or “edgy”, and whose subject matter is, as he once put it in an interview “about like Bananas and shit”, but who simultaneously is face-disruptingly hilarious.

Unfortunately he is also dead.

It is perhaps the singular irony of my history of appreciating Mitch Hedberg’s comedy that I only discovered his existence through the announcement on another comic’s site that he had passed away.

Curious about this special mention (and the many others that followed on other comics’ sites soon after the soul-destroying news set in) I went to Limewire and downloaded two large files that turned out to be Mitch’s only two commercial albums. Immediately it dawned on me what me and most of the world outside American college comedy tours had missed in this remarkable comedian. And suddenly I was sad this so recently unknown person had died.

Since his death in March 2005 the power of the internet (particularly in the form of http://www.hedburgh.com) has furnished me with more underground recordings and video clips than should rightly be available for such an underrated and unknown comedian.

And since his two albums were all he had commercially available, it meant rifling through poor quality bootlegs actually yielded unknown jokes and routines. It also let you hear just how many of the audience had committed to memory his incredible one-liners as they yell them out in a comedic frenzy.

And when you hear the jokes, it becomes obvious why he had this effect.

– I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long.

– I got an ant farm…them fellas didn’t grow shit.

– I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too.

– I’m against picketing, but I don’t know how to show it.

– I wrote a script and gave it to a guy that reads scripts. And he read it and said he really likes it, but he thinks I need to rewrite it. I said, “Fuck that, I’ll just make a copy.”

– I did a movie with Peter Frampton. He’s a musical genius, but I don’t listen to his stuff. So I had to continuously try to draw attention away from the fact. Hey Frampton! Do you like toast too!? As do I. It is warm and crispy and the perfect place for jelly to lay. Now stay away from me Frampton, I ain’t got shit to say to you!

In fact his appearance in the movie he mentions above was Almost Famous. Depressingly, he doesn’t utter a word. That movie would have torn my face off with awesomeness had they given him a role.

As with all good comedians, Bill Hicks, George Carlin (so recently deceased at the time of writing) it always seems too soon when they did (even for Carlin, who was a less than sprightly 71.)

With Mitch it is worse, because the nature of his material meant it was so short. To make matters worse, (or better?) Hedberg penned and directed an all-comedian star movie called “Los Enchiladas” featuring the wonderfully acerbic Dave Attell and the other top one-line machine Todd Barry (whom I accidentally saw live in new York in 2004 before I knew what I was witnessing.)

What’s so heartbreaking is that it is commercially unreleased, with only a few teaser clips online. We can only hope, pray and quietly will it that the world will hopefully latch onto this guy, and that we will all become 13% more happy.

After his death the following show aired on the E! Channel in 2006.

And thanks again to the persistence of Mitch’s fans and the internet, the new cd has finally been greenlighted and features unreleased live material from January 2005, a few months before this wonderful soul’s demise. The release will be from Comedy Central Records. And it will rock.

Til then, you’ll find me listening to the bootlegs, and reminiscing about times I don’t even remember.

Do yourself a favour and buy these albums.

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