500 in brawl at Darling Harbour – National – smh.com.au

Amazing place, Australia.

Just a few months ago, there was a 80+ person brawl at a WAKE in Balmain, Sydney’s posh suburb to the west. Presumably one guy reckoned the “corpse didn’t look dead enough” or “black does make you look fat darling.”

Then in November there was a 150 person fist-pile-up in Sydney at a birthday bash. Now, I’m not a 100% on this one, but I think 150 people counts as a skirmish, in military terms.

The 500 person brawl kicked off at the Pontoon bar (Pictures here) and many papers are variously describing it as a skirmish, a brawl, a fight or even a ‘situation.’

However, according to my copy of Smith’s Imperial Military Measurements – Revised edition due to Editorial Fisticuff, a 500 person fight is technically a ‘war’:

“Rough divisions of entanglement by number:

1 on 1
Fight, fisticuffs, punch-up

2 on 1
kicking, beating, smacking, twatting

2 on 2
spiked punch, wrecking ball, brawl, thudding

up to 10 members
face-blast, Catherine-Wheel of fists, Ambulance Party

up to 50
Mother-trashing, Wrestlemania

100 +
Skirmish, Insurgency, Rampage, Bushwhack

Regional Instability, Airstrike, Battle of Helm’s Deep

Civil War, Tibetan Face-Lift, Tearing the Planet a new one

All Out War (including international embargoes, no flight zones, millions of deaths and sopme sort of state controlled war budget.”

(Source, Smith’s Imperial Military Measurements, pp86-100)

What is interesting is this seems to have been a WAR waged in Sydney by the Serbian population. So essentially we have the world’s first civil war on foreign soil – making it a sort of ‘outsourced’ war (let’s face it – Sydney has more to offer than Serbia when it comes to shiny chairs to throw at people etc.)

This blogger will certainly keep his eyes open – it’s Warwatch Sydney!

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