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Dear Mr Kerviel,
You are my ACTUAL hero. Well done. How did you do it?
So let’s cut to the chase (literally for you, I suppose.) Any bank that can lose billions and still ‘be okay’ should be robbed. All that money was insured anyway. No end users are affected – although the banks might introduce some fabulous new way of penalising people, if so, they deserve to be robbed again. As long as the guys on the street are unaffected, all you did was rob capitalism.
Steal shit, run and don’t look back. There’s a light at the end of the tunnel, and it’s me holding a torch, ready to high-five you and buy you a beer (which i THINK you should pick up the tab for.)
I know you probably have absolutely no chance of escaping and you’re screwed in all probability – but her this. You rock! Your actions amount to 2 Fingers extended in the air at authority on a massive scale. More please.
Everyone at The Hypernation
10. The Cheat to Win Bracelet
Make your hippie friend look twice. Then lamp him in the face and flick the bracelet into his eye. A real friend-winner.
9. The Professional Whisk set
With 28 tennis-elbow inducing whisks, this is the one to give to your wife or girlfriend. Or even BOTH!
8. “I wish I Were Dead” Mug
Make your coworkers shifty and nervous that you may likely snap and shoot them all – hurray for open plan!
7. Ho Ho Ho – I saw You Masturbating Xmas Cards
THE best xmas card to send late – it’s like Santa was biding his time, watching you all thw hile. PAEDO!
There are so many Tees out there these days – why not wear ALL of them AT ONCE? Leave this one on the outside though. otherwise you’d look weird.
5. The Visorganiser
Hate being popular? Want to look like a complete dolt? This turns your hat into another pocket! Walk around with everything all the time FOREVER!
4. A self-referential tote bag
Good job there’s a French stick in that photo, so the model could conceal his raging hard-on at the prospect of having this AMAZING product. GET FIVE. THEN GET MORE ARMS TO HOLD THEM ALL!
3. No Trans-Fatties bumper Sticker
Watch out if you’re a chubber AND behind THIS car. You just got served, girl(or boy-)friend! And not in the way that your nine meals a day go. HA! FAT!
2. Peaceful Progression Smoke Alarm
Alarms are really harsh these days. I mean what ifn you’re asleep? It might wake you up or something. Screw that. I’d rather burn to death to the sound of a forest of tranquility. Get a soothing alarm today!
Doesn’t get any better than having all of them. Walk round like a satire-prone blinged out Irony Pimp with all this posh tosh hanging off you like it’s Xmas.